Ho'oponopono

From desk of Kevin Martin

This has been an incredible journey for me. I first learned about Ho’ Oponopono in my NLP training. Matt James is from Hawaii and not only is a master trainer of NLP but also of Huna – ancient Hawaiian mysticism.

In Hawaiian, Ho’ Oponopono means to ‘make right’ or to fix. It is a tradition of making right in relationship with others. There is a process where a mediator (haku) helps people fix their relationships in their communities or extended families.

Obviously, a process like that includes forgiveness and love. When I first experienced the process, it was in a guided visualization/medication in a hypnotic trance. I brought up all the people in my life, past in present and forgave them for anything that might have upset or offended me. I also asked for forgiveness and sent love out to everyone. At the end of the process, I cut the (aka) cord that connected us together. The releases and all entanglement and allows one to start anew. I would always feel like something has been lifted off my shoulders when I went through this process.

Self-Identity Ho’ Oponopono is a different process. It too, includes forgiveness and love and helps you look at things in quite a different manner. Self-Identity Ho’ Oponopono is a process or technique created by Mornah Nalamaku Simeona in the late 1970’s, which is a modern version of ancient Hawaiian Ho’ Oponopono.

It’s based on a philosophy of total responsibility – meaning that you are responsible for everything in your world, even everybody. WOW! This is mind blowing. Let’s step back and look at this from some other points of view before we move on.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), it tells us that each person has their own map of the world. The map of the world that someone has can be simply thought of as a paradigm of how one sees and interprets the world. I think everyone can agree that we all see and interpret things differently from one another. This can be a small difference or can be a great difference, depending on the individuals and the situation. For instance, two people can be present to see an accident, yet both may have completely different stories of what happened. Why does this happen? It could simply be their physical frame of reference with regards to the actual accident could have been different – one seeing from a side view and the other from a back or front view. It also could be an emotional, mental, or intellectual frame of reference and their experience will be filtered by their personal beliefs and/or experiences.

Obviously, someone who witnesses an accident, who was just in an accident themselves, has the probability to filter what they have just seen by their past experience. For instance, if they were the cause of their own accident and feel they were not at fault, this may cause them to project the benefit of the doubt to the fault of the driver(s) in the accident, shading what they just saw. If they were in an angry state, they may project their need to blame the driver(s) in the accident, again shading or filtering their interpretation of what they just have seen. In other words they project what they think they have seen or experienced and it becomes very real for them.

As we go through life, we are all projecting and/or filtering what we see and what we experience. Our maps of the world, our paradigm, how we interpret and experience everything is based on our own experiences and beliefs – our memories. Our realities are not necessarily REAL. However, what we interpret and experience is exactly REAL for us as individuals.

What does this all mean? It means that we have a lot to do with what we see, think, and feel is reality in our lives. Have you ever had a boss, a friend, or a relative that called you in to talk with them, without specifying what it was about? If this has happened, have you ever imagined that you did something wrong and were going to get a stern talking to? This has happened to many people. They go through their day fearing what is going to happen. They are sure they are going to be scolded in one manner or another. It becomes their reality. If it has happened to you, you know exactly what I am talking about, don’t you? Until you get in front of that person and you find out that what you imagined all day long was not true, yet you went through the whole day acting as if it were true, because it was true for you. By the way, in this scenario, when you do find out that you were wrong about the reason for being called over to talk to whoever it is, your world (reality) changes in an instant.

Our worlds –our realities often change in an instant throughout our lives. It changes when we realize how we perceive a particular thing is wrong. When our perceptions change, our realities change.

Ok, in my examples, you could say that we create our worlds when we are misled by our impressions and when we find out what is real, then we are back on track for experiencing what is real. That sounds logical. I’d like to pose that we are always being misled, or at least led by our impressions and perceptions. We cannot get away from that.

Whatever we see, hear, or experience is always subject to our own beliefs, experiences, and our present state of mind. If the boss says, “You’re doing a good job.” For most people that is great and their perception is that they are doing a good job. For others it may not be so great. They may say to themselves, “Why just good. Why does he not think I am doing a great job?” or “Why did he tell me that? Is he setting me up for something?” and their world just turned sour.

You might say, “Well yeah. Sure. But everyone is different.” EXACTLY! Everyone is different. How you see and interpret things is different from how others do. And how you see and interpret things is how you perceive and experience them. Hence, we all experience the world differently and we all have our own realities.

Is it starting to sink in?

Now, when you see or hear something that makes you feel angry, disturbed, fearful, guilty, judgmental, or any other negative feeling, say this mantra or prayer to the Divine, God, Source, Creator or however you reference the Greater Being.

Say:

I’m Sorry
Please Forgive Me
I Love You
Thank You

Say these phrases in any order and say them several times until the feeling starts to diminish. Say them until you start to feel pono (right). You are clearing whatever is in you that has to do with what you just witnessed, heard, or perceived.

Dr. Hew Len says that we share memories with others. So, if someone else does something disturbing, we clear out the part of us that is shared with them. We become pono. Will will start to see others in a much different light, for as we ask forgiveness of ourselves, we also forgive others (that sharing part again - darn that quantum physics).

Even if you just say I Love You and Thank You to the Divine (and yourself once and a while), you will find miracles starting to happen in your life.